A Night at the Museum with Avis Cyrus

Miley Cyrus bumps, grinds and molts in the video for her new single, the pointedly named ‘Can’t Be Tamed.’ As if this were her first declaration of independence! Still, I didn’t expect to see Hannah Montana chained in a Shakira cage before running through the halls of the Museum of Natural History, sporting a pair of Paul Bettany’s wings from Legion. Girlfriend goes Gaga-lite for this video and let’s be frank, it’s such a spectacle of hot messiness, I’ve watched it at least eight times – in the last hour. Hitchcock would be proud.

And because I’m such a fan of the Cyrus – and her evolution from Disney princess to “LEMME DO CLASSY PORN!” – I’m going to spearhead a green campaign: Miley Cyrus for Mother Nature. Yes, Lady Gaga reuses Diet Coke cans. Pearl Jam seeds the rain forest. Christina Aguilera recycles everyone else’s music. But Miley Cyrus, or Avis Cyrus as she’s now known (who says they don’t teach evolution on the Disney backlot?), did something unexpected here:

Cyrus in The Blonds Fall 2010 peacock corset and dress: $25,000. The effect: Priceless.

Britney Spears between red latex shots.

By completely ripping off Ms. Spears’ ‘Oops…I did it again’ video – really, just swap Cyrus’ sparkly corset and bed of peacock feathers for Spears’ white belly bearing get-up and spiderweb of real people – she is actually encouraging her fan base (the 6 to 12 set) to go to the museum and learn shit. This all while channeling Big Bird gone bad. It don’t get more tame than that! Or more educational! The video purports that the poptart is the last Miley on Earth. This is serious, kids. We’re talking extinction. Thanks for bringing the subject to the forefront, Miles.

Check out Miley’s service announcement above. Next up, the teen queen does a counting video. (Oh, wait…)

XO, The Green Gamine

P.S. Hope y’all had a rockin’ Earth Day. Finals got the best of me.

Wizard of Central Park?

In March, Selena Gomez, simply seen by many as the Latina Hannah Montana, used her Manhattan magic to score a Kid’s Choice Award. Now the seventeen-year-old mini-mogul has announced her plans to release an eco-friendly fashion line with Kmart. She’s calling the line Dream Out Loud. I’m calling it Quit Dreaming You’re Miley Cyrus.

Alright, I’m a little protective of the Miley. But seriously, does this stunt not seem a little suspect to you? Disney star turned pop singer (accompanied by a band called The Scene to seem more legit), turned fashion designer (with a penchant for organic clothing to seem more legit)? Sounds like a familiar Disney fairytale to me, only in this remake, Max Azria isn’t featured as the Fairy Godfather. Downgrade.

Since she’s cute as a button and a sworn virgin, the Wizards of Waverly Place starlet does seem to have the parental stamp of approval over Ms. Cyrus, who has been known to ‘Party in the USA’ atop a pole-sporting ice cream wagon or two. And yet, despite her involvement in last year’s green-focused Disney single – encouragingly titled ‘Send It On’ – she strikes me as eco-insincere. If girlfriend wants to legitimize herself, I suggest she do something unique to her, like unpublicized charity work for instance.

If you plant a sapling in the woods, will anyone know? The answer is yes, especially if you are a budding celebutot hounded by the paparazzi. No need to shout. We’ll read about your good deeds in next week’s Us Weekly.

XO, The Green Gamine

Lovebirds Demi and Joe Make a Splash

Welcome back, lovers! I recently had the shock of my quasi-professional existence when I discovered that my precious website had suddenly disappeared! Perhaps you noticed? To be quite honest, I hadn’t, that is until my mother – my most loyal fan – informed me she could no longer access the site…!

Never fear: the Green Gamine is back and greener than ever. And in true form, I would like to celebrate the House of Mouse’s latest Ode to the Sea. As I am sure you already know, Disneynature, the “independent” film label that brought you earth is prepping to release Oceans. And on April 22, 2010, the 40th anniversary of Earth Day, no less. (Editor’s note: No, the lowercase “e” in earth is not a typo. I have yet to discover why Oceans is allowed to maintain a proper movie title with a capitalized “O”, while earth is stuck looking like an advertisemnt for Teen Vogue. If you know, please share.)

The news is that just days ago, Disney finally released Oceans‘ obligatory tween theme, a duet by none other than Disney’s new Brangelina: Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas. (Insert swoon.) Their song is aptly entitled “Make a Wave” and it features seals, otters, penguins and the like. I would recommend checking it out, even if only to be reminded that young love – true love (winknodnudge) – still exists. Also, if you decide to purchase the track via iTunes, Steve Jobs will send your $1.29 straight to various, unidentified environemntal relief organizations.

But seriously, this followup to “Send It On” – which also featured recently retired Hannah Montana and Selena Gomez – has some seriously good singing, especially on Demi’s part. She’s becoming markedly less annoying and has finally grown into her oversized grin. With Miley moving on to bigger and better Nicholas Sparks projects, Demi is quickly becoming my favorite Mouseketeer.

Watch these lovebirds make waves below. And excuse my corny humor.

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She’s Just Being Miley

Has anybody seen Miley Cyrus’ new music video for “The Climb”? It’s chock-full of wildlife: azure skies, prancing ponies, and a little Grand Canyon thrown in for good measure. Now, I’m just about as ready as the rest of y’all to do the “Hoedown Throwdown.” (Anyone unwilling to do the boom-dee-clap-dee-clap is just unnecessary in my book. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about, go find a nine year-old that does.) But doesn’t it seem that the video has jumped on the greenwagon, exploiting Tennessee (and by default, the green movement) for all it’s worth? Click here and watch.

Thoughts? Speaking of pop phenoms, the punk band that brought you “Soco Amaretto Lime” (Green?), Brand New, has contributed their single “Welcome to Bangkok” to Greenpeace’s new ad for Kleerkut, the campaign that attempts to call Kimberly-Clark out on their very un(eco)friendly ways. According to Greenpeace, the company, which distributes Kleenex, Cottonelle, Viva and Scott, is wiping out Canadian forests in their efforts to stock the clean-up aisle. (Serves those Canadians right for killing all those harp seals!) Watch, listen, and learn.

No Slime Needed: Kids Crown Leo Green King

I'm too sexy for my blimp.

Leonardo DiCaprio was honored last night with the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards first-ever “Big Green Help Award.” After rolling up in his Hybrid, the “kids” awarded Leo for his dedication to going green, for helping them to do the same. After receiving his statuette from longtime friend and sustainability supporter Cameron Diaz, Leo said this to the pint-sized crowd:

“Right now, our mother – our mother – all of our mothers, Mother Earth is hurting, and she needs a generation of thoughtful, caring and active kids like all of you to protect her for the future. You can help us win the battle to clean up our air, our water, our land, to protect our forests, our oceans and our wildlife.”

The award kicks off Nickelodeon’s Big Green Help campaign, a global, social campaign that educates kids on the importance of saving energy. It was launched in response to a survey conducted by Nickelodeon and the Pew Center in which more than half of the kids surveyed stated that the environment was one of their major concerns. (Maybe they stopped Facebooking for Earth Hour 2009.)

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens were also on board to accept the award for favorite film: High School Musical 3. Miley Cyrus picked up an orange blimp for Favorite Female Singer, while the Jonai won Favorite Group.

I’m all for a Leo PR boost, but is it fair when kids get involved?

XO, The Green Gamine